Aint No Sunshine

Eight astronauts travel the surprisingly long distance between the Earth and the sun to jump start the dying star in Danny Boyle's thriller Sunshine. It seems the light source for the entire galaxy is fading, plunging the Earth into an extended winter and it is up to the crew of the Icarus to revive it by dropping a couple hundred tons of nuclear bombs on its surface. On the way, they encounter several problems, including trying to rescue a previous ship that was lost during its mission and whose crew is suspected to be dead.

Sunshine combines elements of Alien and 2001: A Space Odyssey into what is one of the most terrifying films in years. Absolutely everything that can go wrong for this valiant crew of scientists and pilots does go wrong, and every minute of the film is tense and thrilling. It is beautifully shot by Danny Boyle, whose last film, 28 Days Later, which was filmed in digital, looked like an voyeuristic, aesthetic nightmare. The silence and bleakness of space is captured so incredibly, along with its vastness and sheer destructive capability. The sun's heat and deathly cold, emptiness of space are contrasted so expertly that the viewer can feel the intensity. Cillian Murphy and Michelle Yeoh are just a few of the cast members that give excellent performances, although it seems only particular ethnic groups were selected for this important trip, because the entire cast is either Japanese or American.

This is not a typical special FX-soaked, sci-fi thriller with no redeeming values. Sunshine is easily the sleeper thriller hit of last year, combining beautiful cinematography, excellent acting and edge-of-your-seat action. Even those who are not fans of of the horror or sci-fi genre will find something they like in this movie, which has so many dimensions working for it.

Something to Sink Your Teeth Into

There’s something about a toothed vagina that will make every guy cringe and every girl snicker quietly to themselves. And the plot of Teeth can pander to both of these audiences: on the one hand it is a misogynistic tale of man’s worst foe, a vagina that fights back against unwanted intruders and must be destroyed and conquered by the ultimate hero. On the other hand, it can be seen as a heroic tale of female empowerment over an andocentric universe that devalues female sexuality as either prude or sluttish. The film has the potential to play to either of these ideas, or both, very powerfully, but falls far short of either of these goals.
The movie’s protagonist, a young girl committed to saving herself until marriage, is horrified to discover her terrible attribute when the urges of her young, abstinent boyfriend become too much for the both of them to handle. She begins to wonder about her new-age genetic mutations (possibly caused by the two giant smoke stacks behind her quaint suburban dwelling that pour out pollution) and seeks the advice of the trusty internet to answer her questions. She finds that her situation is common in pre-Christian mythology and that she must find a hero to conquer the problem, and searches many available suitors, including her own adopted brother, to try and tame the beast inside her.
In the end, she decides to use the curse, or gift, to her advantage, and help to tame a world soaked in male hyper-sexuality. Teeth is very well-made and filled with talented actors who do their best to ham it up, but falls short of their goal of a smart, campy thriller and end up with a slow and brutal film that makes you squirm uncomfortably. While a novel idea, Teeth can certainly be missed.

O: What did you think of TEETH?

L: Its ok. the girl was good. its mean spirited as fuck. the scene with the dr is ridiculous

O: Yea it doesn’t really seem to go in the direction I thought it would its pretty slow and punctuated with brutal moments

L: Like how we doin with the girl getting raped and molested so many times. like come on. ill just watch last house on the left

O: Haha I know the relationship with her bro and his ass fetish

L: Dude what a fucking stupid movie.

O: It was really well made and a good idea but it didn’t really do it

L: Yeah. fuck teeth.

"What's the Worst Word You Can Think of?"

I fear Atonement will be one of those films destined to disappoint a large number of audience goers who are searching for the next Titanic-esque sweeping romance. However, since this was neither what I wanted or expected, I was left quite pleased with the film. Unlike any story I had ever seen, it would be hard to say exactly what happened because the answer would be a resounding “not much.” The story, however, is incredibly rupturing, told through several angles by several points of view. It begins simply, building suspense through an eclectic mix of confusing images (as seen through the eyes of a young, smitten girl) and small, but important, occurrences. As it progresses, the scope of the film opens quite literally to the Second World War and the toll it takes on the characters. The lovers are torn apart, scattered across the continent during the bloody battle, each holding on until the fighting ceases and they are able to meet again.

Visual and technically, the movie is stunning and of masterful proportions. Never does a cinema experience breathe such life into a period piece, bringing depth from the smallest costume to the grandest scenery. The editing creates a kind of fluidity to the revolving story that unveils itself as the film progresses. One shot, which tracks a soldier’s journey through an army retreat camp, last several minutes and weaves in and out of a grand scene set up on a French shore that must have included at least two- to three hundred extras. The film’s original score is in epic style but with a creative, distinct twist that gives the film a fresh and unique flavor.

Atonement contains the most magnificent art direction, cinematography, costuming, editing, original score and direction I have yet to see. It also has some terrific acting from James McAvoy and Keira Knightly and received a well-deserved Oscar nod for beginner Saoirse Ronan. For a perceived epic, period-piece this film has exceed and even blown my expectations away. It’s unique story and incredible, technical achievement has made it one of the best films of the year.

O: Wow dude have you seen ATONEMENT?

L: No dude im so far behind on award movies…how was atonement?

O: Dude its crazy unlike any other movie ive seen

L: Are you serious dude is [it] best pic?

O: Technically its stunning its so different though

L: Alright im seeing it this week

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L: Dude. atonement. wow.

O: What did you think of it?

L: I thought it was really really well made that one shot is amazing and the music is fuckin brilliant the acting, writing, directing is some of the years best

O: Yea that typewriter score kicks ass

O: the begining [sic] was so mysterious and dark

L: Dude im developing th[e] thought that the typewriter comes in when there is a fictitious scene occuring [sic]

O: Oh man like with briny and the patient

A Mixed Bag

Movies can't help but reflect the time period in which they were made and I Am Legend is a good example of this. This film, adapted apparently from a book and graphic novel by Richard Matheson, is really just a remake of Charleton Heston's 1970's thriller The Omega Man which any viewer can agree is very outdated. Every aspect of it reeks of the '70s from the music, to the cinematography, to the aesthetic style of the girl he meets who looks like she just walked out of a Black Panthers rally. But the film is a solid action-adventure foray and deserves a suitable remake for today's generation of finicky, fast-paced viewers.

The result is a much cooler, more prevalent version (which turns out to be different from Matheson's book in many key points) of this twenty-five year old idea. Will Smith, who has much more charisma then his gun-toting counterpart, plays the only survivor of a cancer-cure gone wrong; an inoculation that ends up turning the population of Manhattan into light-skinned, sunlight-fearing, rage-aholics who enjoy feasting on human flesh. The creatures were originally human, and how a disease transforms them into ultra-fast, ultra-strong zombie vampires is a little beyond me, but like every movie, the audience must be willing to suspend some disbelief.

What we get in this updated version is not much more than an entertaining two hours, but a worthwhile theatre experience. Will Smith is left alone and the writers had obviously racked their brains to come up with someone he could actually share some dialogue with. In the end, he ends up conversing with his faithful dog, several department store mannequins he assigns names and personalities, and a girl and her child that he ends up meeting later on. While it may seem like a reprisal of Tom Hanks talking to a volleyball, Smith's conversation with lifeless human figures actually helps to show his slow mental deterioration in a solitary world where every day (or night rather) is a fight for survival.

Overall, the movie is worth a view, at least in my opinion. But others may not agree.

L: Dude i saw i am legend and hated it! the butterfly thing was so laughable to me

O: there are some rough edges but i thought it was pretty entertaining

L: Man i was so bored and the writing is awful akiva goldsmith is one of the worst screenwriters

O: What else did he or she do

L: Batman and robin and a beautiful mind

O: Ouch

L: That i know of off the top of my head

L: Hes written some other winners too but i cant think of them

Best of the Worst Part II

There's bad, and then there's unintentional comedy, which might be the biggest insult a mystery director can get. Yet Chris Sivertson brings unintended humor to an embarrassing new level with I Know Who Killed Me, a sexy thriller that tries desperatly to be an art piece. Taking a page from masters of old, this picture attempts to use devices such as color and lighting and dissolves to bring subtext where words would fail. Yet his use of these "subtle" devices is so misguided that he bludgeons the audience over the head with them, so much that you can't help yelling from your chair in the theater, "We get it! We get it!" Describing the futility of this film's impact would be a waste of my time, but I wanted to at least make some small attempt, so I turned to my partner for help.

O: Whats the first [thing you] think of when your remember I KNOW WHO KILLED ME

L: Abominable!

L: Did you jurt (sic) watch it?

O: No just thinking of the years worst movies

This is one of those films that will be in movie libraries just for the sheer cult pleasure of laughing at it. If you have ninety minutes and a desire to learn what NOT to do as a filmaker, pick this one up. It dissapoints only if you expect it not to.

Best of the Worst

There's something about Dane Cook that just isn't funny. His attempts to fill the comedic gap where Jim Carrey once stood is a horrifying and embarrassing sight. This is exactly what happens in Good Luck Chuck, a film advertised as a light-hearted romantic comedy about a boy who falls hopelessly in love with a clutzy, accident-prone girl. What the film really is is a soft-core porn about a guy who sleeps with hundreds of women in order to fullfill his momentary pleasure and their hopes of meeting the man of their dreams after a night with Chuck. Jessica Alba's presences in this film is totally unnecessary and she plays it with that in mind. Other than being cute as a button, there's nothing she adds to the film that can soften the blow of the tiring performance of Dane Cook and the unwatchable acting of his friend, Stu, played by Dan Fogler.

O: Dude I just saw good luck chuck and I don't even know what to say.

L: Yeah i just think of all the guys who died in WWII just so that movie could be made.

O: dude [Dane Cook's] friend is awful

L: i know dude that guy won a tony

O: well that actually makes sense hes very theatrical

The film is decieving in its advertising and shocking in its reality making for a very uncomfortable and unpleasant theatre experience. A movie with more breasts than jokes must, by definition alone, qualify as pornography. This film is mind-numbing and degrading and must be steered-clear of.

[The text message excerp above have been paraphrased]

Do You Remember The Time?

In a past day and age the hand drawn animated film was the empire of entertainment, and it's Emperor was none other than Walt Disney. With such fabled classics as Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella, and Pinocchio, there was no stopping Walt Disney. Until something happened, something that changed the face of entertainment for eternity. The computer. With this gadget that now allows us the freedom of creating "blogs" over a virtual world, I must pose the question, "Do you remember the time?" Do you remember the time my friends, of a world where you could leave your home doors unlocked at night, and keys in the ignition? Do you remember a time where children could play with toys without fear of lead poisoning? Do you remember a time where McDonald's was considered fine dining? I do. I also remember a time where I could see the genius of hand drawn animated films such as The Little Mermaid, Beauty & The Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King on the silver screen without fear that this medium of entertainment would suddenly disappear and be taken over by animated films created by a machine. The film Enchanted wisps me back to those glory days where animation meant by hand and not by the click of a mouse. I welcome this return to glory, albeit only 15 minutes of the total running time. The rest of the film is not to be ignored as the performances almost feel hand drawn themselves. Amy Adams' portrayal as Giselle, the Princess from Andalasia, will go down in history alongside Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins and Angela Lansbury in Bedknobs and Broomsticks. So I ask again my fellow readers, "Do you remember the time?" The following took place on December 3, 2007 via text messaging:

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L: Dude enchanted is the best movie ive seen all year like im not kidding im sitting in the theatre watching the credits as we speak

O: Really best pic good?

L: Dude i fuckin hope so dude its such a well made well acted all around excellent film its the most original ive seen all year but i need to see ncfom (No Country For Old Men)

O: Wow ill have to check it out

L: Yeah man i neeeever (expected) it to be this good